Typically, my brother and I abide by a strict blogging and social media embargo when it comes to our mom, but occasionally, she makes an exception, and we can write about her. This is one of those times.

9 Lessons from My Mother 

Celebrate people.  Perhaps one of the most important lessons I’ve learned from my mom is that your happiness multiplies when you celebrate other people.  (I would add that it conversely decreases when you put others down, even if they never hear about it).  She’s thrown unforgettable parties for the milestones of others, integrated strangers into holiday meals seamlessly and graciously so that it appeared as if they always belonged, created an elegant, makeshift annual poetry reading for a friend who’s 103 and lives in a nursing home (who was pals with novelist Edith Wharton in the early 1900s in New York City—how cool is that?), planted trees in her garden to signify people being born or passing on, and delivered a “girls night in” to a recently widowed friend who was not keen on venturing out yet.  At the behest of my mom, the group of women all wore pajamas and showed up at their friend’s door bearing food and laughter when it mattered most.

Do not deal in petty bullshit.  My mom doesn’t like when I swear on the blog, especially—she would have you know—”no effs!”  However, this is an important point, and I think it needs an expletive.  What else do you call the catty behavior of grown adults when they undercut each other for petty reasons, like being more or less attractive, affluent, experienced at work, or successful in life than one another?  If someone is rude, harmful, or annoying to you, that’s one thing.  But snipping about people behind their backs in conference rooms or on the beach because you’re insecure about yourself?  I don’t get it.  I’m glad I don’t get it.  Thank you, Mom.

It’s always better to be overdressed….or in costume.  If I have learned anything about fashion’s ability to be fun and whimsical, it came from Mom.  In my entire life, I’ve never seen her dress according to trend or covet a specific designer, and I think this says a lot about her creativity and confidence.  In keeping with #1, she’s also big on celebrations that require costumes.  So if you show up without one, she will happily accommodate your wardrobe needs.  Consider yourself forewarned.

Have a private life.  Long before having a blog, Facebook, Twitter, and all the rest, I had a childhood where I couldn’t really go anywhere in our small town without someone knowing my parents, especially my mom, the consummate social butterfly.  (It’s no wonder I didn’t go on a date till I was 25…kidding).  My parents owned a popular restaurant.  My mom was on several committees related to business and the community, and this lack of anonymity drove me nuts.  However, I also realized that my mom was an equally private person as she was public.  Her work, community involvement, and creative spirit could be shared.  They were up for grabs.  Our life at home was not.  Her quiet mornings in the garden belong to no one but her.  She’s not one to broadcast triumphs or troubles too freely.  She likes to keep certain people, places, and moments wholly to herself.  She’s the opposite of your Friends on Facebook who are chronic oversharers, and I respect this.

Be natural.  My mom has never dyed her hair a day in her life.  If asked for a favorite beauty secret, it would probably be to sit on a beach and exfoliate using beach sand.  Not even kidding.  It’s refreshing, in an era when injecting one’s face with Botox to freeze out signs of age and emotion is officially commonplace, to have a mom who wouldn’t dream of it.  We all have our quirks and flaws, scars and cellulite, a chipped tooth here and crow’s feet there, and fixing them is fine.  It’s a personal choice.  The lengths to which one woman will go to improve her appearance are between her and her reflection only.  However, there’s something to be said for remarkable examples of beauty that make others feel beautiful, just by being in their presence.  Because they’re real.  That’s my mom.

Build community.  It’s one thing to be a social butterfly flitting among existing communities.  My mom can do this, too.  But what’s more impressive is how often she builds communities seemingly out of thin air.  It started with small businesses that operated like extended families, but it evolved from there.  For instance, my parents recently took a vacation and ended up incorporating 20 friends on the trip.  Just like that: they built a tour group to Europe with zero fussing or experience as tour guides.  It’s that natural for them to inspire people to work and play together.

Get dirty.  My mom is a talented gardener, so she’s often happiest when playing in the dirt, soil on her hands, sun in her face, possibly leaves in her hair.  This is her yoga, the time when she is most herself, relaxed, and connected to the world around and within her.  There’s no judgment when you’re in nature, which is one reason we should spend more time there.

Dance.  My mom does this.  Sometimes without warning, in the kitchen, on a Tuesday….which leads me to my final lesson.

Never wait for permission from someone or something else to do something you really want to do.  I haven’t mastered this one yet, but thankfully, I watch and learn from my mom.

Thank you for being you, Mom.  It inspires me to be me.  Happy Mother’s Day, all!   

Photo credit: Fab Sugar

Today is a big day in fashion circles.  Following last night’s Met Costume Institute Gala, fashion editors, bloggers, and others who can wax poetic about peplums and truly become offended by too many blush tones on the red carpet (or too few) will assess the night’s fashion winners and losers.  For the record, Scarlett Johansson made me say daaay-um.  Cameron Diaz sparkled her usual sparkle but was made more evident in a super sequined yet slouchy gown (a favorite contrast of mine: high elegance with a hint of un-done).  Rihanna was fiercely reptilian.  Beyonce (what baby weight?) and sis Solange Knowles (yellow!) worked it, as determined by their lovable diva DNA.  Gwyneth Paltrow can wear anything (including a side breast peep show), and I will like it.  Mary-Kate Olsen confused people–which is, we should know by now, the goal.

At its best, fashion is personal, expressive, and a little unpredictable.

On occasion, I’m recognized for my sense of style, which is always met with entertaining jabs from my closest friends and family.  For instance, Neiman Marcus once selected me as a Boston style “icon” for an event they were hosting, to which my befuddled mother asked, upon hearing the news, What?…Who picked you?…Have they seen how you dress?

Then, there’s my BFF in California, whom I asked to weigh in on what I should wear for a TV appearance last month, and this is what I got…

In other words, my style is eclectic, as evidenced by the below ensemble for favorite fashion blog Beyond Boston Chic.  The look was then picked up by New York magazine’s Cut Blog, an online mecca for street style. My photo appeared right after supermodel Natalia Vodianova’s, but pretty much everyone in my life categorically thought I looked ridiculous, save for one pal who claimed it was a perfect outfit…if I was trying to look like a cross between Thanksgiving and a Christmas ornament. Fine.

Photo credit: Martini Severin, Beyond Boston Chic

The truth is I don’t mind looking a little ridiculous. For me, it’s always preferable to looking like everyone else.  That goes for yoga and workout apparel, too.  Plus, when you can make your friends laugh this hard with drop crotch M.C. Hammer pants and a reverse crop top, while on a yoga retreat, we’re all fashion winners.

• An emergency root canal the day before departing for my yoga retreat in Mexico last month.  My dentist would like you to know that this was not actually that bad.  Historically, root canals were much worse, and when people impart a root canal reference as a way to convey the misery of something–ugh, I’d rather get a root canal than take a yoga class with Rebecca Pacheco–they are being dramatic.  Root canals are not that bad….But, I didn’t know that going in.  I was terrified.  In hindsight, they’re not that much fun either.

• Giving a seminar to Boston Marathon runners the evening before the race about anything other than how the forecast for 90-degree temperatures is a hoax. Conveying this happy news would have been a great relief for all, but it would have been untrue.  Staring into a room of terrified people staring back at you is a little unnerving.  I’m not sure if it’s better or worse when one person falls asleep.  Because that happened.  Those who managed to stay awake seemed to enjoy the meditation, visualization, and yoga tips I shared and looked less anxious by the time they left.  It’s possible they were just excited to carbo-load over plates of ziti in the North End at that point.

• Appearing on live television last week.  This was the easiest and least scary.  Go figure.  I should probably thank news anchor Gene Lavanchy for being so un-intimidating and conversational.  Also, I should thank my mother.  Just because.

• Opening the Boston Business Journal’s Healthiest Employers Event with a short speech and meditation. Picture me teetering nervously at a podium, at 8:30 in the morning, in uncomfortable high heels (they are the devil; I tell you!), while trying to talk about yoga and meditation without sounding like a yoga flake to a few hundred executives who probably don’t want to listen to much before coffee.  Actually, you don’t need to picture it.  There’s a short video of some of the speech below.  I didn’t bomb, so that’s nice.  There are some helpful tips for meditation you might enjoy, and I’ve edited out the part where I trip in my heels and fall off the stage….Just kidding.  If I fell, I wouldn’t be dumb enough to cut that part out.  That’s online traffic gold, people.

I want to write a witty lead in for my appearance on Fox News this morning about runner recovery following the Boston Marathon. I could make a creative quip about how I learned my lesson at the Runner’s World VIP Party on Saturday and opted not to dress like I got confused and thought I was at Coachella. No multi-colored dress with cut-out shoulders, no motorcycle boots. Thank goodness.

Instead, I’m dazed with equal parts exhaustion and gratitude for a marathon of a week, which culminated in the opportunity to go on the morning news and talk about two things I love most on the planet: yoga and running.  I did this after a nonstop, crazytown schedule of classes, clients, meetings, writing, a short speech and meditation to open the Boston Business Journal’s Healthiest Employer’s event, a seminar about race day preparation at the Marathon Expo, and not much sleep (not that this is anything new).  It was also before I high-tailed it to the race course, parked in an unknown Newton neighborhood, changed clothes in my car; toasted the opening of Heartbreak Hill Running Company, along with Puma’s official cheering section; and watched thousands of runners and more than a dozen pals take Heartbreak Hill in stride…show it who’s boss…or, better yet, get confused and think they were running on a day that was 65-degrees with a tailwind (instead of 90-degrees of blazing sun).

I’m inspired and a little awestruck by a day like today: when you can’t tell people to defer a dream because of the weather, you wake up for a moment to realize you’re living your own dream, and the most fulfilling moments of life are cheering on others as they do the same.  I want to write more about all this–make it witty, make it vivid, make it memorable.  But, right now, I need to go to bed, so that I can do this all over again soon.

Here’s the piece from Fox News.  Happy recovery, runners! 

Runner Repair: Healing Post-race Muscles : MyFoxBOSTON.com

The stage is set for another iconic Marathon Monday in Boston–and a hot one.  The Boston Athletic Association, which manages the race, is strongly advising runners to rethink participation (allowing deference until next year), unless they are in peak physical condition and accustomed to training and racing in the heat.  This will deter some people, but after months of training, most runners will steel their focus, adjust their pace, and race sensibly toward achieving a long-held goal.

Even if you have no desire to run a marathon (or anything beyond the short dash to the kitchen when your tea kettle whistles), you have to respect anyone who tests the hottest, hardest, gnarliest depths of his/her own resolve at anything, including finishing a feat comprised of 26.2-miles.

Did I mention I love this day like normal people love the Superbowl?  I’ll kick it off on Fox News (9:15 AM) to talk about runner recovery following the race.  Then, I’ll high-tail it to the Puma cheering station at Heartbreak Hill Running Company (mile-20) to support my friends, clients, and Om Athletes in the race.  I plan to lose my voice for the next 3-days.

But it will be worth it, as any worthy goal requires sacrifice.  Inevitably, the day will also inspire me to reconnect to my own goals–in running and life.  What about you?

Any goals you’d like to share?  In other words: what’s your Boston Marathon?  

It happened again on Easter morning.  I set out for a typical run and ended with an ideal one: the light-footed, lighthearted, I’m-barely-winded variety that end too quickly rather than drag on till time is up, fatigue sets in, or motivation wanes.  After a typical run, you might say Whooey, glad I got out there or Gee, I feel better.  (Apparently, Runner You speaks like you’re from the 1950s).

After an ideal run, you want to bellow as if from the rooftops to no one at all I love running!  I love life!  I’m going to run a marathon!  (Now, you are not only from the 1950s but in a musical, shouting to a neighbor character quaintly hanging her laundry from a balcony).  And any of these are preferable to the self-pitying garbage you say after a terrible run.  Usually there are expletives and ice packs–possibly ice cream.  I like to blame my sneakers or the wind on those days.  Because that’s effective, right?  Blaming the wind.  

I set out yesterday morning at break-even: I was christening a new pair of Nike Frees (potentially ideal), and a strong wind was coming off the ocean (potentially terrible).  I was in my hometown of Falmouth, MA, where I was visiting the family (and family chickens) for Easter, mostly running along the Falmouth Road Race course, a picturesque 7.2 miles stretching from Woods Hole to Falmouth Heights Beach.  No sooner had I started mentally griping that it was a little windy, and a bit cold, and I was hungry, that something clicked.  My griping brain hushed, and something else took its place for 8.5 miles.

Something quiet and fun, speedy and spacious, and full of gratitude.  The chatter about the wind and hunger faded, and the actual, present-moment experience of running remained.  Think of this state as a moving meditation–something akin to what athlete’s call being “in the zone,” and it can’t be manufactured.

Its probability can be cultivated.  Certain characteristics, when aligned right for an individual runner, can help result in an ideal run, the kind where PRs or life epiphanies or pure joy happen.  We can never control all the conditions surrounding any run, on race day, Easter morning, or a garden variety Monday, but there’s something to be said for knowing and visualizing your ideal, right down to what you’re wearing and the route you’d run.  Because if you don’t know what the ideal running conditions are, how can you create the ideal run?

Naturally, our mental state is most important, with an internal focus on the run’s purpose and an adaptability to the external elements.  When the two merge, typical becomes ideal, and you feel like you can run forever.

Astavakrasana, which you may also hear referred to as 8-angle pose or crooked crow, is one of my favorite arm balances.  Which is not to say that I like it becuase it is tricky, though that’s part of it.  I appreciate the way a challenging pose requires concentration and singular focus or dharana, the aspect of yoga that precedes meditation and, ideally, enlightenment, according to the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.  I like it because the journey is truly as important as the destination.  In addition to mental focus, a yogi needs to develop core power, limber hips, and strong arms along the way to execute this pose.  The sequence in the above video supports these goals, and for yogis of all levels, there’s a stage or portion of the sequence to explore.  Even if the final pose alludes you (for now), there is a clear path for getting there someday.  I like that.

Maybe you don’t care.  Maybe you just want a new party trick.  Fine.  Send me pictures.  (No, seriously, feel free to post your crooked crow to the OG Facebook page).  Good luck!

To most people, late March signifies the season of NCAA basketball madness, blossoming trees, and optimistically storing a heavy winter coat till next year.  But to a select group of runners, it represents a different sort of madness, especially in Boston: the season of marathon madness.

With the Boston Marathon fast approaching on April 16, many training programs logged their longest runs over the weekend (between 20 and 22-miles), which means there are some legs out there in need of yoga today.  The video, above, is a perfect way to stretch out before or after a run of any distance.  You can even use a foam roller if you like.

For runners who are not signed up to haul tail over Heartbreak Hill, the final days of March and early days of April signal a fresh start to running season, with their added daylight hours, warmth, and motivation–perhaps to get in shape for summer, finish a 5 or 10K, or spend time outdoors.  It can be a funny moment for runners who have been trucking along all winter to look up around this time of year and realize they have company.

Speaking of running with company, tomorrow night marks my second Heaven & Hell Run/Yoga event, featuring a light track workout with running coach and pal Dan Fitzgerald and yoga class taught by me, for runners and yogis of all levels.  It’s the perfect way to shake out tired legs from marathon training and get them feeling speedy for race day or kickstart your new running and fitness goals for spring.  Join us!

The fact that I was boarding a ship on which to live for the next four months didn’t phase me, nor did traveling to Cuba during the Elian Gonzalez controversy.  The inoculations needed for travel to Africa and Asia seemed standard.  Ditto a prescription for anti-malaria medication (albeit this was before the psychedelic dreams the medication caused), and not speaking one of the eight foreign languages in the nine countries we would visit seemed like an opportunity.  It never occured to me that this opportunity might include getting lost in Vietnam, alone, in 100-degree weather, without a clue how to ask for directions.  (Kids, this was before the iPhone).

In a Virginia church, off-campus from where I attended college, my ashtanga teacher offered a solution.  ”One of the best things about yoga is that you can do it in a prison cell.”  Thankfully, I’ve never had to test this theory, but I enjoy its sentiment.  An industry of yoga accouterments has cropped up since; however, the true needs of a yoga practice are minimal: a mat, floor, and enough wingspan for your arms.  That is, if we’re talking about the physical practice of yoga asanas, as opposed to, say, meditation (dhyana) or breathwork (pranayama).  So, I packed a mat and copy of Beryl Bender Birch’s new book at the time, Power Yoga, and taught myself to practice solo for the next four months, unrolling my mat in all nine countries, including India, yoga’s birthplace.

This early experience of practicing solo ensured that wherever I go, my yoga practice travels, too.  However, I have my favorite spots, namely, my parents’ backyard on the Cape, my friend’s converted chicken-coop-turned-yoga-studio on a farm in upstate New York, or the studio at Prana Del Mar, where my retreat took place last week.  Take a look, and please share your favorite studio or solo spot to stretch out, breathe, and be yourself….wherever you go.

If you could unroll your mat anywhere in the world, where would it be? 

Australian accents make anything sound intriguing and easier to process.  For this reason, I think people should use Australian accents for disseminating all sorts of important information with a tendency for being overlooked.  This is not to say we should all start impersonating Aussies.  It’s best to use authentic Australian speakers to do voiceovers for things like safety announcements on airplanes, anti-texting while driving PSAs, and some sort of reminder to do our taxes on time.

My friend, Anna Whiting, a talented bodyworker from Australia, who offers healing massages and craniosacral therapy to our yoga retreat participants, is a fascinating person (and amateur astronomer, as you will see in the video above).  We’ve shared a room while on retreat for the past two years, and I adore our conversations.  After long days that begin at sunrise, I will myself to stay awake longer as we chat before dozing off to sleep.  Sometimes what she says brings me great clarity and reflection. Epiphanies, even…

Anna on a meditation walk at sunrise. 

But, then it occurred to me that maybe it’s just the accent?  Is it me, or is her stargazing bonfire talk, above, more riveting because she’s from down under?  Noooo, it’s wonderful content.  So charming and informative!  Or, possibly just the accent…No, it’s the content….Shoot, now I’m not so sure.  What do you think?